Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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