So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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