so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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