ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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