somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
