After last night, I could never be a politician.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
