; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
