Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
