Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
