thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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