good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
