bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
