Sponge bath it is.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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