Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
