He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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