Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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