THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
