So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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