The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
