Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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