look no pants
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
