I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
