i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
