then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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