two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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