he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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