Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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