Plan B is the new Plan A
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
