The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
