Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
