I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
