Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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