; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
