so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
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