How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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