I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
