And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Fuck appropriateness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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