He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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