Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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