You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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