I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize