bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
