We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize