Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize