don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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