We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
