I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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