You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
