no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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