we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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