just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize