need another drink. this is the easiest way
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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