Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
