I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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