I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
